Falling in Love with Yourself.

Recently, we went for a drive up on the Pisgah Mountain. As we were driving and slurping up the delicious grand views, I realised that I was scrambling to sense the orientation to the place. I have by now travelled to various parts of the mountains, accessing them from different entry points. Although I can find my way to the mountain, once I am there, I feel a little lost. There are so many overlook points to view the sky and valleys and after a while in my mind there is just one huge ambiguous blurr of mountains, mountain roads, valleys and vistas. They seem to merge and blend into each other. Then I look next to me to my chief navigator who has all the details of the place implanted in his subconscious with every hidden alley and mountain passage that he can quickly refer to. Although, I feel blessed to have my husband sitting next to me in the co-pilot seat with all the directions ready, I become impatient with my own self. I too want to know the mountain roads like the back of my hand. I too want to understand the network of pathways inside out. And this impatience does not really feel very good.

There are instances like that for all of us, when we are impatient with ourselves or judge and criticize ourselves. We put unimaginable pressures to be Mr. Perfect or Ms. Perfect and in the end, are not more than tired, stressed and discontent. I realise that this whole situation with the mountain roads is a really good example of where I can love myself even more deeply and unconditionally. It is here I can say to myself, "I love you just the way you are. Even though, it takes longer for you to understand the road system than you would like, I still love you. You are absolutely gorgeous, smart, loving and compassionate. And you are loved." Yes, at first glance, it feels silly to say this to myself. But this is precisely how it feels when you are beginning to love yourself completely, fully, unconditionally! It feels silly to say such things because we may have not heard this kind of self-talk a lot before. Yet, we must let go of that resistance to love ourselves. We need to move from talking heartlessly to speaking heartfully with our inner self.

Besides, how can we give others love, compassion, trust and all our beatiful gifts, if we have not given them to ourselves first. How can we give something we don't have?

To recognize how deeply we love ourselves we can notice how we treat ourselves: how easily we forgive ourselves for our errors, how deeply we trust ourselves to navigate this life, how patient we are with our so called "shortcomings" and how seriously we care for our well-being. I believe that our errors, mistakes and shortcomings are just part of the learning process and they are vital for our growth. Next time, you make a "mistake" or don't think you can do something or are impatient with yourself, take a moment of reflection. Switch modes and dive deeply into unconditional love for yourself.