The Voice

There is a voice
inside my head
that is not mine.

It says hurtful things. It says self-loathing things.
It doesn't let me be. It doesn't let me breathe.

This voice
makes me think lowly of me.
It compares me with others. It compares me with ideals.
It looks down upon me. And it makes me feel small.
It says I am not good enough. It says I am useless and a burden.

This voice inside
inside my head
is not mine.

I don' know when this voice was born.
Did it come from within me?
Did I borrow it from the world?
In any case, it lives inside my head
And I know this voice is not mine.

This voice
that makes me feel bad,
I am not angry at you. I am not upset with you.
It does make me sad thatI let you affect me
& that I gave you prime spot on my inner counsel.

I know that you - are not my voice.

For my own voice
is gentle and kind like a lamb;
playful and happy like a kitten.

My own voice
is wise and like a sage it imparts
guidance to me at all times.

My own voice
is patient and compassionate
and knows that I am
heaven's beloved flower.

My own voice
is encouraging and soft.
It uplifts me and others,
it finds the gift in all things
and forgives in a blink of an eye.

My own voice
holds me accountable
to my internal compass.
It feeds my true aspirations
and supports my big visions.

It does all that in the
sweetest way possible,
helping and nudging me
like a loving mother.

My own voice
recognizes my higher self.
It speaks to the spiritual aspects within me.
It fills me with hope and joy,
and helps me enjoy
the gift of life.

My own voice is
cheerful and creative.
It is smooth like the flowing stream.

My own voice is
benevolent and
it also resides within me.

So, today, I ask the other voice to
gracefully dissolve its presence.
I thank you for all that you have done
because you have enabled me
to recognize my own voice.
I bid you farewell, the voice who became my friend,
in spite of your criticisms.

I now turn to my own voice
and give it prime seat at my internal counsel.

- Sophia Ojha Ensslin. October 10th, 2013